I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
