Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
