Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
