Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
