so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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