Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
