So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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