Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
