Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
you mean i was at the winter classic?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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