I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
