He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
