hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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