similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Your cock deserves a montage
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
