I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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