make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
