So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
