you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
