Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
