so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
