Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
