I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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