Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
