week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
3 2 1 whiskey
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
