So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
