I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
