I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
