normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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