whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
