Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize