Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
