i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
