OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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