3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
