And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
