real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
