i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
