Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
