Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
