We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
