I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
