Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
