if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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