We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Never underestimate the power of titties
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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