just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We have started to decorate penises.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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