How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
