I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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