There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Floor bacon is actually really good
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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