You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
