This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
