Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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